kristel

Scorpio.Taken.mexican-filipino.bay area,CA.makeup. cars.piercings.activist.life.i follow back.

starting

to doubt myself again. seems like my happiness is only on a day to day basis. wow if happiness is a state of mind then where is my mind at? i feel like every time i turn around im doubting where your minds at. i look for myself in everything you do, hoping that you think the same way i do. my heart hurts and churns when your away. i dont feel secure when im not looking in your face. i need to appreciate the important things in life and stop looking for the bad. because life is too short to always be sad.

Dear You, It takes alot of bullshit to see the real shit. i need to see what is really important in my life. and until i become one of the bigger priorities in your life i wont be appreciated. i realise i need to focus on school, little things around the house, my pets, my family all before you. because im not first in your life. and i realised today, that it is actually better that way. for the past 4 years I hav focused on someone else. now i need to focus on myself. what makes me happy now, what will make me happy later. you make me happy, but you arent ready to be everything i deserve. i can already see that you and i are creating something awesome, a new bond. i can also see that im letting you take advantage of my generosity and kindness and thats okay sometimes because to really be “cold hearted” isnt me. i come off as a bad bitch, and sometimes i can be. but most of the time im sensitive, insecure and confused. i don’t have it all together, everyday is a learning experience. and sometimes i look at you as a mistake, but i am realising that you are the best mistake a girl could make.

Dear You,

It takes alot of bullshit to see the real shit. i need to see what is really important in my life. and until i become one of the bigger priorities in your life i wont be appreciated. i realise i need to focus on school, little things around the house, my pets, my family all before you. because im not first in your life. and i realised today, that it is actually better that way. for the past 4 years I hav focused on someone else. now i need to focus on myself. what makes me happy now, what will make me happy later. you make me happy, but you arent ready to be everything i deserve. i can already see that you and i are creating something awesome, a new bond. i can also see that im letting you take advantage of my generosity and kindness and thats okay sometimes because to really be “cold hearted” isnt me. i come off as a bad bitch, and sometimes i can be. but most of the time im sensitive, insecure and confused. i don’t have it all together, everyday is a learning experience. and sometimes i look at you as a mistake, but i am realising that you are the best mistake a girl could make.

(Source: foudesoilesysteme, via audrey--marie)

everyday, i feel like i have experiences where i should learn and not make the same mistakes. and everyday i forget who the most important person in my life. ME. a very smart man told me once that “if i forget to put myself first, everything that happens to me won’t be in my power”. basically to take charge of your life. i rely on others to be honest, to do the things they say they will do, to be “good” people. but because i put so much into other people, they fail. once i stop relying on other people for things, thats when i will have control over my life. because just like everyone else I am not perfect.

everyday, i feel like i have experiences where i should learn and not make the same mistakes. and everyday i forget who the most important person in my life. ME. a very smart man told me once that “if i forget to put myself first, everything that happens to me won’t be in my power”. basically to take charge of your life. i rely on others to be honest, to do the things they say they will do, to be “good” people. but because i put so much into other people, they fail. once i stop relying on other people for things, thats when i will have control over my life. because just like everyone else I am not perfect.

(Source: herphany, via streetstrutters)